Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald 3D

Magical as expected but longwinded and confusing.

I was raised in the height of Pottermania and I am a proud Slytherin 😊

Me

I used to love the build up before a new book and later on with the movies, so I know the characters inside and out, just like a lot of my fellow Potterheads.

As soon as the film starts with the faint notes of Hedwig’s theme, the Goosebumps began.

You can tell the heads of production have remained the same, David Yates stayed as director and J K Rowling wrote the screenplay, so I expected the film to be true to its origins. But my advice is to not see it in 3D, there is no need. I think I actually enjoyed it more in 2D than 3D.

We have the usual group back in the driving seat and I am glad to see them return.

But we also have new (ish)characters such as Nagini, Dumbledore and of course Grindelwald.

So now comes the WARNING if you haven’t seen it yet.

SPOILER ALERT!

The film starts just a few months after the previous film ends. 1927 Grindelwald in jail, he escapes, you know the jist. But the main things we learn are that:

  1. Credence isn’t dead – he survived the previous film
  2. Grindelwald and Dumbledore used to be friends (lovers??) They have a blood pact so cannot fight each other.
  3. Leta had a brother who she unintentionally killed
  4. Credence Barebone was born as Aurelias Dumbledore

Credence and Nagini

Of course, nobody really cares about anything of this expect. Who the hell the Aurelias Dumbledore?

Just like many fans I went straight to the books to construct the Dumbledore family tree…. Yes, I am that sad.

Family Tree

This looks perfectly fine until you add the dates.

1881 – Albus born

1883/1884 – Aberforth born

1885 – Ariana born

1891 – Ariana was attacked by muggles. Percival took revenge on the boys and ended up being imprisoned in Azkaban.

1899 – Ariana accidently killed her mother as she couldn’t control her powers. Albus looks after his siblings.

Aurelius is supposedly born in 1901. So, at best he could be a half brother if you believe that Percival was able to either escape or have relations in Azkaban.

Another issue in the timeline is Professor McGonagall being a teacher at Hogwarts in 1927, when she isn’t born until 1935?

I am a traditionalist and it annoys me that the story and timeline has been changed just so that they can make more money. It is a cinematic marvel as all the films are, but I find the story a bit lacking. It is all the build up to the next film and at 2h 15mins I am not surprised children couldn’t keep their attention throughout.

I did like the little Easter Eggs hinting back to other films such as:

  • The bucket being a portkey
  • The flash of green light – The Killing Curse (Avada Kedavra)
  • The Imperius Curse (Imperio)
  • Phoenix
  • Philosophers Stone
  • Polyjuice Potion – Twitching on the face

Over all the casting was fantastic and I am really looking forward to the next instalment of the franchise. But I can’t say I am sold on how this is going to work into the timelines.

4/5

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Director:  David Yates

Cast: Eddie Redmayne, Johnny Depp, Jude Law, Katherine Waterston, and Ezra Miller.

Crew: J K Rowling (Screenwriter)

Genre: Fantasy

Rating: 12A

Assassination Nation

A clever feminist take down of society – love, love, love!

This film came out of the blue for me. I hadn’t heard a lot about it until it appeared on the cinema listings. I don’t know why! The premise I love the idea of because in 2018 this is something that could happen. People hacking photos, especially from prominent people, like presidents… oops I meant mayor 😉

The best way I can describe this film is Mean Girls meets the Purge in Salem, Massachusetts during the Witch Hunts.  This is even suggested in the costume.

I love these little Easter eggs and think it is really clever.  Something else I like in this film is the use of the colour red, and the hues. Red is used in some many ways, it is used to show sexiness, empowerment, danger, and hatred. It comes full circle.

Cast

I don’t want to give too much away as I saw this film before it is released on the 23rd November.

This film gets your thinking about your own online footprint and these are so many fantastic quotes.

This may not be a perfect film, but it made me laugh, made me think and says a lot about society.

So, I don’t care it’s a 5/5 from me! I’m off to see it again!

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Favourite Quotes

“You may kill me but you’ll never kill us all”

“I’m not a bitch, I’m a feminist”

“I’m not the monster you think I am”

“The whole world is watching”

“I love this kind of scandal”

“Men who don’t eat pussy in this day of age, is straight up a sociopath”  – AMEN!

 

Director:  Sam Levinson

Cast: Odessa Young, Suki Waterhouse, Hari Nefi, Abra, and Bella Thorn.

Genre: Comedy Horror

Rating: 18

Bohemian Rhapsody

Fitting for Freddie but not True to the story

I am a massive Queen and I grew up listening to them thanks to my Dad. So it only seemed fitting that I saw this with my parents. This gave me a nice chance to discuss it with them and get their opinion.

I had high hopes because to take such an iconic person such as Freddie Mercury makes it difficult to stand up to the hype. When I saw this was only a 12A film I was confused as his flamboyant lifestyle definitely wasn’t 12A material in my opinion.

One thing I really liked in the film was the use of light and colour pallets.

There is a stark contrast in the two sides of Freddie. The stage Freddie and the real Freddie. The bright flamboyant tones of Freddie on stage use cold bright lighting whereas the real Freddie is in warmer tones and muted colours. To me this symbolises Freddie really well and is aesthetically pleasing to the eye.

The biggest issue I have from this film is the liberties they have taken with the timeline. I understand that they want to use all the classic songs but some of the mistakes are massive.

  • Fat Bottomed Girls is played during Queens first US Tour in 1974 but was not released until 1978.
  • We Will Rock You is shown being recorded in 1980 but it was on News Of The World album that was recorded in 1977.
  • Another One Bites the Dust is seen as being a part of the disco experiment from 1982 but it was released in 1980.

I am sorry, but I am a traditionalist and these things really takes me out of the movie. My Dad had exactly the same feelings and was checking on Google to make sure he was right. (Not just Old age and all that!)

The cast though were fantastic and I couldn’t have hoped for anyone else to play Freddie like Rami Malek. The mannerisms were perfect and on point.

Freddie Cast May Cast Taylor Cast Deacon Cast

Rami Malek as Freddie Mercury       Gwilym Lee as Brian May        Ben Hardy as Roger Taylor    Joe Mazzello as John Deacon

But I can’t give it full marks. As much as I enjoyed it and it gave been Goosebumps just like Queens music does, I cannot forgive the timeline mistakes.

4/5

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Director:  Bryan Singer

Cast: Rami Khan, Lucy Boynton, Gwilym Lee, Ben Hardy, Joseph Mazzello, Aidan Gillen, Tom Hollander and Mike Myers.

Crew: John Ottoman (Editor)

Genre: Biographic Drama

Rating: 12A

 

Slaughterhouse Rulez

More Parody than Horror/Comedy

The last British horror I saw was Ghost Stories and I loved it, I saw it as a great future for the British horror community, so I had high expectations for this film. Especially as it is a Simon Pegg and Nick Frost collaboration. Director Crispian Mills, who has worked with Pegg before in “A Fantastic Fear of Everything”, has described this film as a “distant cousin of the Cornettos”.

As you may recall the Cornetto Trilogy are a collection of comedy horror films consisting of “Shaun of the Dead”, “Hot Fuzz” and “The World’s End”.

Cornetto Posters

Cornetto

Pegg and Frost are executive producers as well as cast and even use this film as their premier for their production company Stolen Picture.

Although this film is classed as a horror, I see it more of a parodist comedy.

Parody

This film is set in a private school which can be described as a mix between Hogwarts and St Trinians. These parallels can be seen through the uniform and the houses.

At Slaughterhouse you have: Andromeda – the all girls house, Olympus – the Jocks, Xenophon – the Nerds and Sparta – who are basically the Hufflepuffs.

You can also see a clear Draco Malfoy, Snape and Neville Longbottom chracters, but I will let you figure them out for yourselves!

The parodies even continue into the Cornetto Trilogy – see what I mean?

I also liked the subtle hints, for instance the schools motto is “Per Caedes Ad Astra” which means “Through Bloodshed to the Stars” In Latin.

The use of fracking is a parody on the environment and it is something that is happening in the world but this is taking silliness to the extreme with the amount of fart jokes which can get tiresome after a while.

Symbolism

The filming itself is quite interesting. They use a lot of drone shots to show the size of the school and as it was filmed at Stowe School near Buckingham, which is 300 years old, it was very effective to show the grandeur of the Private School. This was also mixed in with POV shots, some from the creatures, some from the students as they spy.  The school itself symbolises the status of going to a private school against a public school. There has always been a lot of discussion about is it worth paying to go to Private school and mixing with the elite. But at the end of the day no matter what school faces the apocalypse we are all screwed!

Another symbol I liked the use of was the school tie.  For many different characters it represents something different.

 

Don doesn’t want to be at the school and feels very alone so the tie makes him feel alone and abandoned.

Woody graduated many years ago but still wears his school tie on his wrist as a reminder of his brother Teddy who died in the woods. It is a symbol of his past and of his rebellion from the elite.

Wootton bless him has failed the house test on the history of the school numerous times and is punished every time he fails. For him the tie symbolise and is literally a constraint.

Clegg is the head prefect and takes his role very seriously and wears his tie with pride, showing unity in the school and making life hell for the other students.

Willoughby sees the tie as a symbol of death as his roommate hung himself using the tie and he tried to do the same after pulling pranks using the noose as a symbol.

Conclusion

A lot of people have panned this film but I really enjoyed it, but I think I enjoyed it more as a parody than a comedy horror. So I think in the end it all comes down to personal taste, which in the end is what happens with any film. I found it funny and enjoyed picking out the parody nuggets but I didn’t find it scary at all. So if you want to be scared look elsewhere but if you want a lighthearted film with lots of fart jokes. This film is for you.

I give it a 3/5.

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Favourite Quotes:

“Super massive Frack Hole”

“Damn, why didn’t this happen under the maths block?”

“To the Skoda!”

“This Is Sparta”

“Tunnels my arse, this is a sewer!”

“I’m gonna die unfulfilled, I’m gonna die a virgin, I’m gonna die in Greek sandals”

 

Director: Crispian Mills

Cast: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Asa Butterfield, Michael Sheen and Finn Cole

Crew:  John De Borma (Cinematographer)

Genre:  Horror Comedy

Rating: 15

Director: Crispian Mills

Cast: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Asa Butterfield, Michael Sheen and Finn Cole

Crew:  John De Borma (Cinematographer)

Genre:  Horror Comedy

Rating: 15